Time Flies When You're Having Fun!

       It's been a while since my last blog, about four years to be exact, and believe me, I've much to rant about. But don't worry, I'm not going to bore you with everything right away, I'll ease you into it. Not that I live an exciting life and have amazing stories of adventures I've had, but I'd like to tell someone about them and since no one else will listen, maybe you will.

       Where do I start? First, I guess I should start with my father dying, and although it happened recently, December 8, 2011, it's still the most significant event and most tragic for me. He fought hard for nearly a month before becoming too tired to fight any longer. I wanted to rant and rave that the doctors were incompetent or that his meds weren't right, but I just faced the fact that he was just old, it was his time. He lived a good life and he was a good man, he's missed.

        My father and I didn't always enjoy the good relationship we had in the last few years of his life, in fact, growing up I really couldn't stand him. He was never around, always sided with others against me even when I was right. That made me the maddest. How could he side with others and not his own son? What father does that? When he was around he was mean and never listened. Later on, after I'd moved out, things changed, we got along a lot better. Then after my mother died in 2002 we really seemed to click. Not that we didn't have our differences, cause we did, but mostly we had fun. He turned out to be a really good man and friend.

       Before that things were going as well as could be expected, between his illnesses and me in and out of surgery, it was a real rollercoaster ride, up and down, mostly down. But with the many bar-b-q's, bithday parties and general get-togethers we managed to have fun. Nothing spectacular happened, nothing noticeable ever does for me, but those things unnoticeable were amazing. I guess a man still grows on the inside even if his outside stops. Change is the name of the game right? And I think I've grown some, if only on the inside.

     Today things aren't so great, though they're not really bad either, just a lot more difficult. For instance, finding rides back an forth to the hospital when I need an operation, that's when you see who you can really depend on. I found out that number was very small. The one person I thought I could count on just completely let me down. My supposedly best friend took me there and complained the whole time I was making him late. Making him late? I asked him for a ride weeks ahead of time, but it so happens that the night before he suddenly gets new plans, of which, I'm now making HIM late for, great. And to top it off, when it's time to pick me up he can't make it because he's taken his suv apart, I had to call for my backup ride. At least I was smart enough to have a backup ride and it was dependable.

       I still have more operations to go, more hurdles to jump and more problems to solve, so I'll have a lot more to write about in the coming weeks and months. But for the first time I'm going to talk about something that has been very embarrassing and painful to me for so long. I'm going to talk about why I need to have so many operations. I'm to talk about my illness that I've hidden all my life, Hidradinitis Supperativa.  Something I've always been very reluctant to write about, but something I think I need to talk about, maybe it's what I have to do at this point in my life. So the next time I blog won't take years to get out, but it might feel like years writing it.

Comments

Popular Posts